Out of the Comfort Zone

 A sense of accomplishment. That's what I felt at the end of this run yesterday. A sense of closure, even. A big fat "phew!". This pas Fall, I began a workout program designed to get me to a 5km run. I spent at least an hour a day doing strength training followed by a 20 minute run with intervals. At the end of the program, I was to run a 5km. Oh, how I prepared! I was diligent in my training and pushing myself past my limits, proud of the progress I was making. I even downloaded music on my phone so that I would have a playlist for my big day (something I never, ever do). I took care to do the stretches and take my rest days so that my body would be able to do the distance easily. I mean, this wasn't my first rodeo. I've done plenty of 10km runs, two half-marathons and regular strength training for years. Hell, I even went so far as to start meditating and visualizing this run. This was going to be a no-brainer. The day was fast approaching and the weather in Cal...

Ever feel stuck? Like you're on a merry-go-round and the damn ride won't come to en end? That annoying music on repeat in your head, the spinning, the up and down of it all... Just when you thought you'd found something fun and interesting, a ride with plenty of potential that got you all excited just at the thought of getting on. And yet... I've read and listened to tons of personal development publications in the last year or two. I've felt motivated and inspired to take on new projects and set new goals for myself. I've launched myself into new adventures that were so promising that I couldn't possibly say no. I've committed to becoming a better me. And yet... I know that life is a journey and that none of us is perfect. I know what I value in life, what is truly important to me. And I know what I need to do to live my values and create a better me. All of those books have confirmed what I already knew to be true. I'm well aware of what I need...

Early this morning, at 4:00am to be exact, I woke up in a cold sweat from a very bad dream. It shook me to my core, even though I knew it was a dream, not real. It wasn't even about my kids or my husband. Nobody died. And yet... In my dream, I was called to a meeting at the very last day of the school year. I was told that I would be transferred to another school and that I would lose my position as VP. Not just that, but I would be expected to teach Grade 3. Although teaching Grade 3 is not in my wheelhouse, that was not the worst of it. The idea that I would be stripped of the position that I had worked so hard to achieve rocked me. That I wouldn't be allowed to continue to work in the same capacity as I had been for the last four years, or that I wouldn't have the opportunities that I was once afforded, forced me into a state of wakefulness when I should have been enjoying a peaceful morning sleeping in. The fact of the matter is, I've spent the last several mont...

Spiders? Heights? Social situations? Death? Whatever it is you're afraid of, you can rest assured that you're not alone. Fear is a normal and natural reaction, and no matter what others may say, they've been scared, too. The question really becomes, what do I do with this fear? How do I handle being afraid, especially when it makes me feel so alone? And I think the answer is this: talk about it and do something about it. I know that when I feel fearful, I talk to someone I trust. I lay on the table what makes me scared and nervous, I give it a name, I declare it from the rooftops (ok, not the rooftops - I'm terrified of heights!). I feel as though giving voice to my uncertainty, my panic, my anxiety, I am diminishing its hold on me. Fear only has the power that we give it. Yes, it's there, it exists, but it doesn't have to cripple us. Fear is an important fact of life. It keeps us alive. Sure, we don't have to hunt for our survival anymore, but "s...

Dear 2017, I feel like I owe you an apology. You see, I've been secretly cursing you under my breath for months, blaming you for hard times I've had and times when I've felt not quite enough. In reality, those things were never your fault. Nobody is to blame, if I want to be perfectly honest, because stuff just happens and much of it is out of our control. So, instead, I'd like to thank you, 2017, for all the hard lessons that I've learned from you. I may not have seen it coming, and some of those lessons hit hard, but it is hard to deny that I've grown in the process. It's easy to be grateful for all of the wonderful things we have, but it has been an uphill climb to be appreciative for the times that I didn't choose to experience. Thank you, 2017, for teaching me that sometimes my strengths need to be challenged in order for me to remember that I don't have to be perfect. Thank you for reminding me that there will always be circumstances that...

I read recently that someone who is going through depression can often feel lonely, and that one of the best things that we can do to help them is to let them know that we are close by. December is here. It's the start of the most festive of seasons, and the most lonely and sorrowful times of the year. December is bittersweet in our home. December is a very vivid reminder that we are no longer graced by the presence of our very first little girl. December is when we lost a dear, dear friend. December, in essence, sucks. And yet... December is when the Elf on the Shelf makes his appearance (much to my chagrin - that Elf is high maintenance!), and the look of sheer joy on our kids' faces when he shows up is priceless. The tree and its decorations go up, the menorah is dusted off and the neighbourhood is filled with lights. Everything points to peace and happiness. And yet... The fact remains, this time of the year is hard, not just for my family, but for so many. As much as...