The Most Simple Changes
Early this morning, at 4:00am to be exact, I woke up in a cold sweat from a very bad dream. It shook me to my core, even though I knew it was a dream, not real. It wasn't even about my kids or my husband. Nobody died. And yet...
In my dream, I was called to a meeting at the very last day of the school year. I was told that I would be transferred to another school and that I would lose my position as VP. Not just that, but I would be expected to teach Grade 3. Although teaching Grade 3 is not in my wheelhouse, that was not the worst of it. The idea that I would be stripped of the position that I had worked so hard to achieve rocked me. That I wouldn't be allowed to continue to work in the same capacity as I had been for the last four years, or that I wouldn't have the opportunities that I was once afforded, forced me into a state of wakefulness when I should have been enjoying a peaceful morning sleeping in.
The fact of the matter is, I've spent the last several months considering my future in education. I've asked myself the question over and over again: "What would I do if time and money were no longer an issue?". I've done a tremendous amount of soul searching and self improvement, only to be left with that unanswered question.
I've started considering trying my hand at a number of different passion projects, like photography, writing, psychology, and the list goes on. Everything that I've considered has left me with a feeling of "meh, not so much". So, this feeling of being stuck persists and is pervasive. If only I could not feel stuck, if only I could miraculously find the key to my success and fulfillment in my professional life. If only I could pursue what I'm really passionate about - helping others.
Oh, wait a minute...
I already do that.
Huh.
Apparently, there comes a time in a girl's life where she wishes she had it all, and then she realizes that she already does. Cue the moment in the movie I Feel Pretty when Amy Schumer's character realizes that she was always beautiful and always had the capacity for a level of self-confidence that only supermodels seem to have.
I listen to and watch Mel Robbins an awful lot lately. She's inspiring and always right on the ball when it comes to advice. In trying to refocus and become deliberate in my thinking, I've fallen into the trap of over-thinking. It's always been my issue, but I think I've gone overboard lately. Intellectually, I know what I need to do and how to do it. But then fear steps in to screw it all up. And what exactly am I scared of? Rejection, failure, not pleasing everyone. All. Of. The. Time.
I am not one to shy away from risks. Stepping outside of my comfort zone has proven to be very effective for me in the past. Those leaps into the unknown are exhilarating and life-changing, but what I'd forgotten was that it doesn't have to be big, giant bounds into the abyss to be considered risky. I've had to shift my mindset from big, bold changes to small, simple pivots. Believe me, there's plenty of risk in those, too.
I love what I do. I live for helping others and working in the field of education. I know that I've chosen the perfect profession for me. My next move? Making small, intentional changes in my day-to-day that will make me better at what I do and allow me to experience success and fulfillment. I'm learning to summon up my courage and I'm learning that I can develop my confidence. Sometimes, it's the most simple changes that have the greatest impact.
In my dream, I was called to a meeting at the very last day of the school year. I was told that I would be transferred to another school and that I would lose my position as VP. Not just that, but I would be expected to teach Grade 3. Although teaching Grade 3 is not in my wheelhouse, that was not the worst of it. The idea that I would be stripped of the position that I had worked so hard to achieve rocked me. That I wouldn't be allowed to continue to work in the same capacity as I had been for the last four years, or that I wouldn't have the opportunities that I was once afforded, forced me into a state of wakefulness when I should have been enjoying a peaceful morning sleeping in.
The fact of the matter is, I've spent the last several months considering my future in education. I've asked myself the question over and over again: "What would I do if time and money were no longer an issue?". I've done a tremendous amount of soul searching and self improvement, only to be left with that unanswered question.
I've started considering trying my hand at a number of different passion projects, like photography, writing, psychology, and the list goes on. Everything that I've considered has left me with a feeling of "meh, not so much". So, this feeling of being stuck persists and is pervasive. If only I could not feel stuck, if only I could miraculously find the key to my success and fulfillment in my professional life. If only I could pursue what I'm really passionate about - helping others.
Oh, wait a minute...
I already do that.
Huh.
Apparently, there comes a time in a girl's life where she wishes she had it all, and then she realizes that she already does. Cue the moment in the movie I Feel Pretty when Amy Schumer's character realizes that she was always beautiful and always had the capacity for a level of self-confidence that only supermodels seem to have.
I listen to and watch Mel Robbins an awful lot lately. She's inspiring and always right on the ball when it comes to advice. In trying to refocus and become deliberate in my thinking, I've fallen into the trap of over-thinking. It's always been my issue, but I think I've gone overboard lately. Intellectually, I know what I need to do and how to do it. But then fear steps in to screw it all up. And what exactly am I scared of? Rejection, failure, not pleasing everyone. All. Of. The. Time.
I am not one to shy away from risks. Stepping outside of my comfort zone has proven to be very effective for me in the past. Those leaps into the unknown are exhilarating and life-changing, but what I'd forgotten was that it doesn't have to be big, giant bounds into the abyss to be considered risky. I've had to shift my mindset from big, bold changes to small, simple pivots. Believe me, there's plenty of risk in those, too.
I love what I do. I live for helping others and working in the field of education. I know that I've chosen the perfect profession for me. My next move? Making small, intentional changes in my day-to-day that will make me better at what I do and allow me to experience success and fulfillment. I'm learning to summon up my courage and I'm learning that I can develop my confidence. Sometimes, it's the most simple changes that have the greatest impact.
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