Easy to Judge
Everyone thinks that they've got the best idea, the better way do things, the solution that makes the most sense. After all, if we didn't think it was the best, then why would we be doing it?
Take parenting, for example. My husband and I have made countless decisions over the years in the best interest of our children. Sometimes we're right, and sometimes we're wrong, but we always start from a place that we think is right, in line with our beliefs and values. Obviously we think that our way is the best way, otherwise we would change our way of doing things. Clearly, though, we aren't raising our kids exactly like our neighbours, or even our very best friends. That's because we're different. And that's OK.
It's easy, however, to look at a child in the throws of a tantrum and declare that those parents are out in left field. Because, of course, our child would never act that way. Our child is perfect.
Ah, perfection. It amazes me that we are still after this lofty (impossible) goal in this day and age. Haven't we learned that it doesn't exist? Kind of like unicorns and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow (sorry, dreamers!). If we continue to strive for perfection, then we're going to end up permanently disappointed. There is no finish line in life, only in races, and life is not a race. Don't get me wrong, races and competition are good and healthy and they help drive us forward. So, even in races, the finish line is not the real objective. The goal is to improve and progress and learn. Always and in every case.
So, to all of those striving for perfection, who believe that being perfect is possible, I applaud your high standards but I implore you to give them up. Instead, admire your progress after spin class, celebrate the fact that your kid can now tie his shoelaces, cheer your students on as they accomplish tasks they never thought possible. Some things come easily for some people, while those same things take colossal effort for others. We don't know what's happening behind closed doors. We don't know the struggles of others. Success is different things to different people... wildly different, in fact. I bet if I asked my acquaintance which was more difficult to accomplish, her first 5km or her fourth Ironman 70.3, she would probably say the former. And that every step in between was worth celebrating.
It is so very easy to judge others and their choices. We do it all of the time. When we aim for perfection, it is all to easy to see the faults along the way. When we aim to get better, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Take parenting, for example. My husband and I have made countless decisions over the years in the best interest of our children. Sometimes we're right, and sometimes we're wrong, but we always start from a place that we think is right, in line with our beliefs and values. Obviously we think that our way is the best way, otherwise we would change our way of doing things. Clearly, though, we aren't raising our kids exactly like our neighbours, or even our very best friends. That's because we're different. And that's OK.
It's easy, however, to look at a child in the throws of a tantrum and declare that those parents are out in left field. Because, of course, our child would never act that way. Our child is perfect.
Ah, perfection. It amazes me that we are still after this lofty (impossible) goal in this day and age. Haven't we learned that it doesn't exist? Kind of like unicorns and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow (sorry, dreamers!). If we continue to strive for perfection, then we're going to end up permanently disappointed. There is no finish line in life, only in races, and life is not a race. Don't get me wrong, races and competition are good and healthy and they help drive us forward. So, even in races, the finish line is not the real objective. The goal is to improve and progress and learn. Always and in every case.
So, to all of those striving for perfection, who believe that being perfect is possible, I applaud your high standards but I implore you to give them up. Instead, admire your progress after spin class, celebrate the fact that your kid can now tie his shoelaces, cheer your students on as they accomplish tasks they never thought possible. Some things come easily for some people, while those same things take colossal effort for others. We don't know what's happening behind closed doors. We don't know the struggles of others. Success is different things to different people... wildly different, in fact. I bet if I asked my acquaintance which was more difficult to accomplish, her first 5km or her fourth Ironman 70.3, she would probably say the former. And that every step in between was worth celebrating.
It is so very easy to judge others and their choices. We do it all of the time. When we aim for perfection, it is all to easy to see the faults along the way. When we aim to get better, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
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